I wanted to go out on the town with my friend. My wife refused to let me go . She said I always came home a stinking mess after a night out.
She finally agreed to let me go after much debate and a promise not to come home as a stinking mess.
My friend and I started our evening of bar hopping and sure enough after 7 beers I barfed all over my shirt.
I was desperate and my friend said all I had to do was stick a twenty dollar bill in my top pocket and then tell the wife that someone else had thrown up on me and they had given me a twenty dollar bill for the dry cleaning bill.
We kept drinking and finally at 4 in the morning I staggered home.
My wife was waiting for me at the door with a roller pin in her hand and she screamed. "look at you - all a stinking mess just like I predicted.."
I said no honey , look in my pocket - there is a Twenty dollar bill put there by the man that barfed on my shirt to pay the dry cleaner ..
She reaches in and pulls out 2 twenty dollar bills and asks , " what is the second twenty dollar bill for ?"
And I replied , Oh yes , I forgot , my other friend - he crapped in my pants.