Vladimir Putin telephones Ukraine's acting president demanding to know what he's planning for the defunct Chernobyl nuclear plant.
'It's going to be a themed seafood restaurant called Fission Chips,' Oleksandr Turchynov replies, 'specialising in chargrilled delicacies.'
'Well, that's pretty daft,' Putin replies, 'nobody will want to eat your dumb radioactive produce.'
'True,' the Ukrainian leader replies.
''Fortunately, we've just taken a delivery of more than 20 tons of your Russian carp!'