Roman Abramovich

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Thursday, 6 February 2014

Billionaire oligarch Roman Abramovich is summoned to the Kremlin amid reports he made Vladimir Putin's rhythmic gymnastics girlfriend Alina Kabaeva pregnant with twins.

The diminutive Russian President is hopping mad and shows Abramovich before-and-after pics of Alina's naked body to prove his pregnancy point.

Abramovich confesses that while lissom Alina is utterly gorgeous, he's never poked her let alone made her pregnant:

'Trust me, Mr President,' the oligarch says, 'it wasn't me who did it.

'Because if I HAD shagged her, those stretch marks would all be on the inside.'

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