My neighbor Jacko, always the animal lover, rescued a frog from a snowbank the other day. Always a sucker for a poor animal that's up against the world, Jacko stopped his car, got out, and pulled the frog from alongside the road.
When he got it home, the frog started talking to Jacko. Jacko couldn't believe this frog could talk. Then the frog did something even more amazing. It transformed itself into a beautiful, buxom, blonde woman.
"Hi handsome," this frog, now a woman, told Jacko.
"What the hell is going on?" Jacko asked.
"I'm a very special kind of frog," the beauty said. "Didn't know what you were getting into when you picked me up, did you?"
The frog, now a woman, batted her eyelashes and Jacko was already beginning to fall in love with her. But not falling for this trap, Jacko got a bright idea.
Jacko had to show his neighbor across the hall this frog. His neighbor was 87 years old and liked oddball stuff like this.
"Can you change yourself back into a frog? I wanna show Ole' Ollie you as a frog, then you can change yourself into what you are now - a beautiful blonde lady," Jacko said.
"Sure," the woman said, then turned herself back into a frog.
Jacko grabbed the frog and went across the hall, knocked on Ole' Ollie's door, and when the old man answered, Jacko was so excited he held out the frog and it jumped into Ollie's apartment.
"What are you doing now?!" Ollie screamed.
"I found this frog in a snowbank, brought it home, and it can even change itself into a beautiful blonde lady. I figured you can have it if you forget about that poker debt I owe ya' for," Jacko said.
"Well that depends if this frog can talk," the old man said.
So the frog, which jumped onto Ole' Ollie's TV set, started talking, reciting The Gettysburg Address.
"That's amazing," Ollie said.
"Now change yourself into that blonde," Jacko ordered.
And the frog did just that. In a flash of an eye, it had transformed itself from an ugly green reptile into a Playboy Bunny. The woman now sat seductively with her legs crossed, in a sexy mini-skirt, on Ole' Ollie's TV.
"Well, what'd a' think? Is this good enough for the five hundred I owe ya' for?" Jacko asked Ollie.
"No, no, no. This will never do. Turn yourself back into a frog," Ollie said.
"What? You wanna see that ugly frog again? How's about her? She's beautiful!" Jacko yelled.
"Nope. She'll never do. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog," Ollie said.