My wife's friends keep telling her that we should have a baby but then they ruin it by saying things like. "It'll piss in your face when you change it's diaper. Oh sleep, you might catch a few hours a week. But the real fun is feeding time when it throws food at you while filling it's diaper. You'll love it!
Instead, we're turning ourselves in as terrorists and heading for Guantanamo. It couldn't be too bad, that water boarding. Plus free meals, no working, etc. I think we can fake it for a few years.