Here's a tip: Never ever use the word "ass" in the presence of your wife. She will immediately begin grilling you.
"That Arnold at work is an ass."
"Why? Are you saying that he has a large ass? Is Arnold's ass bigger than mine?"
"What? I didn't mention your ass being big!"
"So, you were being kind and not mentioning my big ass? If so, I would have felt better if you had just came out and told me. To learn it from Arnold was a low blow."
"You have never met Arnold!"
"I don't have to. You told me that he has a big ass..like mine."
"Let's just forget it."
"No, let's go down to your workplace and see Arnold!"
And, of course, Arnold has an ass that forces him to buy 2 plane ticket for the two seats to hold his big ass.