I really messed up early in life and there seems to be no way I can undo it.
If anyone out there can help me, I would appreciate it.
When I was twelve years old, my older sister (the hag) was using a ouija board with her girlfriend (Freaky) about their boyfriends and I laughed and threw some garbage by the sink onto their board.
Since I was 12 years old, I have woke up every single morning in the dumpster. I even have a wino with me sometimes.
I'll never get married again. Not after our honeymoon mornings in the dumpster.
Can you help?
Contact I.M. Moleturd in care of The Spoof. (Maybe a Goth?)