No I Am Not A Dumpster Diver!!

Submitted by Bureau
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Sunday, 25 August 2013

I really messed up early in life and there seems to be no way I can undo it.

If anyone out there can help me, I would appreciate it.

When I was twelve years old, my older sister (the hag) was using a ouija board with her girlfriend (Freaky) about their boyfriends and I laughed and threw some garbage by the sink onto their board.

Since I was 12 years old, I have woke up every single morning in the dumpster. I even have a wino with me sometimes.

I'll never get married again. Not after our honeymoon mornings in the dumpster.

Can you help?

Contact I.M. Moleturd in care of The Spoof. (Maybe a Goth?)


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