Sex & Romance

Submitted by Bureau
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Thursday, 15 August 2013

Elmer Jean is over to visit Myrtle Moleturd when Myrtle breaks down crying and saying her marriage to Moley was on the rocks.

"And so is he, most of the time, down at the pub. Elmer Jean, the romance is gone!"

"Maybe you should talk about it with a perfessional like that Ox guy on television."

"That's Oz!"

"Naw. That was where that kid and dog went to see a Magic Lizard."

"Oh, forget it. Besides, I already tried something this lady said on Oprah once. I wrapped myself nude in clear wrapping and met Moley at the door."

"What did he say?"

"He took one look and said 'Not Leftovers Again?' and laughed his head off."

"So it didn't work."

"Yes it did. I had to meet him every day like that for two months till I let a big one and it got trapped in the cellophane and it ruined the mood for good. At our age, we were both 'bout dead by then anyway. But I said romance, he's horny enough."

"He's growing horns?"

"Bye Elmer Jean, I gotta go get his supper. I might try dressing in jello after another month's rest. He can bring the whipping cream HA!"

I.B. Moleturd

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