"So you see that I was actually past the pub and on my way home with my paycheck when I tripped over this crack in the pavement and lo and behold there on the board was a Crackerjack. Somehow I knew that Crackerjack was running at 20-1 so I bet the works.
Turns out that there was this kid eating Crackerjacks and complaining about falling over the same crack in the street. I mean, what's the odds?
So I came back down to the Pub, Chuck. That is after I flushed all that soup out of my hair and off my head. I tell you. If Myrtle had been born in the Middle Ages, she could have patented that stuff and won some wars. It puts scalding oil to shame."