"Moleturd! Get in here this minute!"
I knew what was good for me so I humored her and went running.
"Where is Mergatroud? Stop looking simple, I guess you can't help that, but where is our Mergatroud? Our cat?"
"He's probably out chasing mice. Cats do that."
"He also got into your pot supply and freaked out like Fat Freddie's cat. Also, Junior here has been crying. And why? He saw you, Moleturd, putting Mergatroud in your car at daybreak and now the cat is gone."
"I'll get him another cat. Mergatrout was a mess. Hair everywhere. Ate my stash and shit in some prime stuff I had ready to roll and smoke. It's hard to get high smoking pot and cat crap."
"OK. I've heard enough. Where did you take him?"
"In the woods outside Chicago!I think he will adjust."
"Oh he made it fine. Somehow he got back home on his own before you did. No sex for you for six months. I'm cutting you off and having you followed! You can crawl back into your Mole hill now."
So I went upstairs and lit up a joint. I needed that. Even if it did have a cat urine smell.
=I.B. Cut Off for 6 months, Moleturd