Feng Shui

Submitted by queen mudder
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Thursday, 8 August 2013

The final straw in Nigella Lawson and Charles Saatchi's 10-year marriage came when the TV cook hired a psychic feng shui therapist to dowse the root of her matrimonial problems.

After scanning the house from top to bottom the medium had a good rummage among Nigella's pots and pans including inside some burnt remains in a back burner saucepan.

'Ah, so that's what the problem is,' the seer explained to the TV chef, 'and it's a bitter lesson to learn: if you're making alphabet soup and leave the stove unattended it tends to spell disaster.'

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