Somebody Needs Help!

Submitted by Bureau
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Tuesday, 6 August 2013

Jesse Jackson shocked friends and family this morning by refusing to talk to the press.

"If it's one thing I hate is for a crowd of people around me and all those cameras flashing", he told his aunt, Bessie.

"I"m changing my name to "Stonewall" Jackson. Go away. Leave me alone."

Moleturd here. Jesse has to be sick with something. That ain't like him. If we lose him, Weiner and a few others, we won't have any good jokes or anyone to discuss and wind up going to the pub just to get drunk and eat free peanuts.

Wait a minute. Lindsay Lohan just backed over Mel Gibson's foot! Woody Allen's married his granddaughter!

Whew that was a close one!

-I.B. Moleturd

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