If we have all these new ways of speeding up the vote count, why is it slower than ever?
For one thing, before they let me vote I was told that I needed three proofs that I was who I is.
So I called three of my friends and they come down and told them, "Yep, that's Moleturd alright!"
But then "Let's see your drivers license, social security card and drop your pants and spread your cheeks..that is, unless you're voting Democrat."
Hope he enjoyed the present I left in his hand. (He missed me and hit the candidate.)
Not satisfied with your driver's license, he asks to see your Social Security card, your organ donor's card, a lock of your hair, your Blockbuster membership card, your high school diploma and your butt.