On the Da Vinci Code's 100th anniversary the Pearly Gates Operatic Society in Heaven is staging a musical based on Dan Brown's famous book.
God the Father is said to be fine with the idea but St Peter thinks the show's too risque and might set off schizms inside the Pearly Gates.
He tells God he suspects that the musical's director, Danny Boyle, will pull off some smutty innuendo after casting 21st century Brit songbird Cheryl Cole to play Mary Magdalene and Brit entertainer Russell Brand as Da Vinci Code love interest Jesus Christ.
'Oh Most Almighty One, there are rumors about some very x-rated scenes between the two lead actors including cunnilingus and fellatio,' St Peter complains, 'contrary to all the Bible's teachings.'
'Yeah, that would really suck,' G the F replies; 'but isn't that just a silly suspicion?'
'Well, Most Almighty One,' St Peter gulps, 'last night at rehearsals I heard Cheryl Cole telling the cast about the Grand Finale scene that Boyle's just written....
'Apparently Russell Brand performs an act of fellatio during the Last Supper while Cheryl sings the 1990s KD Lang hit In The Evening When The Son Goes Down'.