The Diaper Wars

Submitted by Bureau

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Saturday, 6 July 2013

Do you know what I hate? It's for your 4-year-old to make fun of you. Smart little fart.

And right there was the problem.

We went to a Mexican restaurant and I had the works, everything from dip to glaucamolly to refried beans and I drank about seven beers. Chips make me thirsty.

Anyway, on the way home I tried to ease a little beer and beans odor off and some idiot stopped real quick right in front of me. My cussing and fart must have made a special duo for the kid said, "Do it again, Daddy!"

Actually, before long everyone realized that a little more had happened. Actually a lot. I had shat my pants.

So we stop on the driveway and I hurry in the house and Lilli, little snot, yelled loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Plus I couldn't deny it because I had left a trail back to the car.

That's why I overtalk Lilli every time she comes in when we have visitors.

I've tried reminding her of all the crap in her diapers I helped clean but she claims that all of it put together wouldn't add up to that trail from the car to the bushes behind the house.

-I.B. Moleturdy

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