The wife and I have learned to always have safe sex many years ago and we are still practicing it. Once in a bank vault (pretty safe, eh?)where she was working back in 1995. Once at a drive in three hours before the movie started in 1972. Then there was that one time at the Knoxville Zoo when we both wore gorilla outfits in an empty cage while all the visitors either cheered or ran away.
P.S. Don't mock the shat in the hand flinging till you try it.