King Henry VIII

Submitted by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 18 June 2013

Courtiers tried hard to cheer up their monarch after his second wife Anne Boleyn lost her head in a Traitor's Gate cost-cutting exercise.

A brand new spouse, Lady Jane Seymour, was rapidly installed as Wife Number Three despite rumors she was a bit of a moody bitch, given to wild irrational tantrums.

However courtiers did their best to make Jane feel welcome, throwing a lavish bash of acrobatics and sleights-of-hand as part of a musical concert to please the new Queen.

Unfortunately Henry's latest bride was having none of it, storming off in a huff before the start musical recital after chucking a shoe at one of the acrobats.

'WTF happened, you wretched bastard?' a stunned Henry demanded of the show's compere.

'A million apologies Sire,' the MC grovelled, 'it appears Her Majesty just went for the juggler.

'It's probably just a bit of royal pre-minstrel tension.'

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