Amazing Scientific Advances

Submitted by j.w.
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Saturday, 30 March 2013

I was suffering from a bad back so I asked a friend in the pub if he knew how to cure it.
'There's this new invention' he said 'you give a sample of urine and it can tell you how to deal with a problem'.
I thought I would try this so I took a sample of urine to the machine and put my question. 'How do I cure a bad back?' and paid the £10 required. The answer came back 'Take it easy'.
I thought I would try to fool this machine and got samples of urine from my wife and daugther and also masturbated into the substance.
The machine came back with its answer: 'Your wife is pregnant and you are not the father, your daughter is using cocaine and if you wank any more you will never cure your backache.'

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