Her Majesty the Queen has been diagnosed with chronic pain-in-the-arse from sitting on the throne for so long.
The royal acupuncturist thinks she's just obese and suggests a popular weight loss program.
He then examines her from top to toe and is alarmed to find a sharp, pointed projectile sticking out from the royal posterior.
'What's this, Ma'am,' the doctor asks, 'some sort of alternative medicine gizmo?'
'Don't be so impertinent,' HM replies.
'You of all people must surely know One's been on a bloody dart all year.'