Pope's replacement

Submitted by queen mudder

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Tuesday, 12 February 2013

The frontrunner for the job of next Pope is being coached by the retiring Pontiff on how to win the 'set task' part of the competition.

'You have to replicate a Bible miracle,' Benedict explains, 'for the selection committee to give you the nod.'

He then shows his chosen successor how to perform Jesus' much-loved Wedding At Cana miracle.

Next day the committee asks to see the required proof by inspecting the Vatican's 'Holy of Holies' - Pope Benedict's fridge.

They examine bottles of Evian water blessed by Benedict's chosen contender to see if they have turned to wine as required.

'Sorry, Monsignor,' the committee head explains, 'you don't get the job; the label on this bottle says it's Still Water.'

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