Outtakes from the Leveson hacking inquiry have thrown up new details of Kate Middleton's saddle sores.
They've vindicated conspiracy theorists' suspicions that Kate shagged her way through Tory Front Benches to secure the top royal broodmare position 'just like Diana'
Newly discovered scraps of mobile video footage salvaged from Leveson cutting-room floor bin ends apparently reveal some crude digital manipulation.
"Yeah, but enough of those whorsy foreplay scenes," a former Spyin'wood Studios gaffer commented.
"It's her bareback pillion position with Big Dave Cameron on Rebekah's mount Raisa that's floored the neighsayers.
"Always reckoned they jumped some sticky hurdles before the PM got his oats."