A guy goes into a pet shop to get a pet, and sees a parrot with a sign that says "FREE!"
"What's with the free parrot? Does he swear or something?
"Naw, he's REAL smart, he can even carry on a conversation...he just doesn't have any legs or feet."
"How does he stay on the perch??"
"Well...he's got this HUGE dick and he wraps it around the perch."
"That doesn't bother me, I'll take him."
He LOVES the parrot and ends up talking to it more than his wife. He comes home one day and the parrot looks uncomfortable.
"Don't wanna say."
"Now tell me what's wrong."
"Mailman came by."
"He comes by every day. So?"
"He came in the house."
"He took off your wife's dress."
"Then he took off her bra."
"Then he took off her panties."
"OH NO! THEN what happened???"
"Hell, I dunno. I got a hard on and fell off the perch."