Obama's 2013 New Year's Resolutions:

Submitted by Heeke
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Tuesday, 25 September 2012

--Party with Secret Service one last time .
--Pack up White House silverware.
--Cut prices for Presidential Pardons.
--Fire up paper shredders.
--Delete teleprompter porno.
--Flip off Hillary Clinton.
--Get medical marijuana card.
--Ask Chris Matthews for a date.
--Throw Eric Holder under the bus.
--Throw Joe Biden under the short bus.

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