A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near death experience. During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it.
God says no and explains that she has another 30 years to live. Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc.
She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figures since she's got another 30 years she might as well make the most of it. She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance.
She arrives in front of God and complains: "I thought you said I had another 30 years!!
God replies, "Sorry, I didn't recognize you."
"Really?" Said the woman
"Yes, you vain cow, seriously, what possessed you to have face altering surgery?"
The woman, unable to answer, accepted her fate.
(Originally heard in 2001 at The Monaco Grand Prix)