I love my wife, I really do, and most aspects of our relationship are wonderful, but we got to feeling that maybe, after twenty years, our love life was perhaps getting a little stale.
"What do you want me to do?" she asked me one night.
"Move about a bit more," I said. "And moan...really moan..."
So we went to bed, and were doing what adults do, and she asked me: "Do I start now?"
"Yes!" I urged.
"You never fucking wash up!" she said as she said as she tried a new pair of shoes on...