This Sunday School teacher always taught the young people to be kind and helpful to others, and then began thinking : "Maybe I should try harder to practice what I preach".
One day she saw a truck beside the road, with the hood up, the driver looking like he needed help.
She pulled in behind him, looked in her glove compartment, and the only tool she could find was a screwdriver. She thought: "Well, maybe this is all he needs"
She took it, walked up to him, and asked: "Screwdriver?"
He answered: "May as well, this thing won't start!"
A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper.
The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab.
Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked "Did I just see you swallow something?"
"Yep, that was my birth control pill," said the driver.
"Birth control pill?" asked the patrolman. "Yep, when I saw your light, I knew I was screwed!"
A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little boy next door.
The little boy is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. He is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog.
The fireman says "Hey little boy. What are you doing?"
The little boy says "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!"
The fireman walks over to take a closer look. "Little boy that sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman says.
"Thanks mister", says the little boy.
The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little boy has tied the dog to the wagon by its testicles.
"Little boy", says the fireman, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster."
The little boy says, "You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!"