Wisdom of the Irish - Or Would That Be Irish Wisdom?
Paddy O'Toole died and went to Heaven.
Upon his arrival, a concerned St Peter met O'Toole at the Pearly Gates.
'I'm sorry O'Toole,' St Peter said, 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to hold an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden on Heavenly Arrivals.'
'That's alright,' answered O'Toole. 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of then?'
'Just 3 Questions,' said St Peter.
'Which are?' asked O'Toole.
The first,' said St Peter, 'Is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?
The second is: How many seconds are there in a year?
The third is: What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?
'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'
So O'Toole left and gave those three questions some considerable thought.
The following morning, St Peter called upon O'Toole and asked if he had considered the questions, to which O'Toole replied: 'I have so too.'
'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'
O'Toole replied with a grin, 'Today and Tomorrow.'
St. Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.
'Well then O'Toole, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'
O'Toole immediately responded, 'Just the 12!'
'Only 12?' exclaime d St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure O'Toole?'
'Easy,' said O'Toole, 'there's the second of January, the second of February right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds!'
St Peter looked at O'Toole and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.'
And he walked away shaking his head.
A short time later St Peter returned to O'Toole. 'I'll allow the answer to stand O'Toole, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven!'
Now O'Toole, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'
O'Toole replied, 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'
'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer, Mr O'Toole?'
'Yes, Andy,' confirmed O'Toole.
This totally flabbergasted St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating over the answer.
Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to O'Toole, enquired, 'O'Toole, how in God's name did you arrive at that answer?'
'Easy,' laughed O'Toole, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his Billy boiled.'
And so Paddy entered through St Peter's gates to Heaven...