Q: What is the difference between Ed Miliband, Nick Clegg and David Cameron?
A: Ed Miliband couldn't tell a lie, Nick Clegg couldn't tell the truth, and David Cameron doesn't know the difference!
"My uncle ran for the Parliament last month!"
"Really? What does he do now?"
"Nothing. He got elected."
A member of the Parliament, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in mid-session and began to shout, "Half of this Parliament is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!"
All the other members of the Parliament demanded that the angry member withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session.
After a long pause, the angry member acquiesced.
"OK," he said, "I withdraw what I said. Half of this Parliament is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!"