Why is the nickname for CEO's 'Deepwater Horizon'?
Because they leave an oily trail behind them wherever they go.
If you are in a life raft with a beautiful super model and a CEO and one has to be thrown over board for you to survive, who do you throw over?
The super model because the CEO will help to scare the sharks away.
Why won't Satan allow CEO's into Hell?
He doesn't need the competition.
Why did the CEO sell his own mother?
Because he got twice as much for her as he would have gotten for his grandmother.
Why did the CEO not bend over and pick up the quarter on the sidewalk?
Because he made more money by waiting for the next guy to come along and picking his pocket as he bent over to pick up the quarter.