A team of young lads has put forward a series of measures to deal with the water shortage in most of England caused by the Drought:
1. No more washing up.
2. No cleaning of teeth.
3. No washing.
4. As there are no longer any baths pee in the garden - if no garden use the nearest drain.
5. Shit on the compost heap - if you haven't got then one start one.
6. Drink bottled water from Scotland.
7. Drink Newcastle Brown Ale, Scottish Whisky, French Wine and Russian Vodka.