30 UK Economy Statement - includes some absolute gems!

Submitted by Inchcock
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Friday, 13 April 2012

1)
The economy is so bad that African television stations are showing 'Sponsor an Lithuanian Child from Britain' commercial!

2)
The economy is so bad, a picture is now only worth 200 words.

3)
The economy is so bad, I saw the CEO of Asda shopping at Asda.

4)
The economy is so bad, I went to my bank the other day and the teller handed me a note saying, "This is a robbery!"

5)
The economy is so bad that George Osborne went to the bank to get a loan, they they said, "What a coincidence! That's just what we were going to ask you!"

6)
The economy is so bad, the ATM gave me an IOU!

7)
The economy is so bad that the highest-paying job in town is jury duty!

8)
The economy is so bad that I saw a boat load of legal immigrants leaving the country!

9)
The economy is so bad that some politicians are considering raising their own children.

10)
The economy is so bad that even people who aren't in David Cameron's cabinet aren't paying their taxes.

11)
The economy is so bad I saw a polygamist with only one wife.

12)
The economy is so bad that I saw someone using the sun to get a tan! 

13)
The economy is so bad that wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

14)
It's so bad, McDonalds is introducing the 1/4-Ouncer.

15)
The economy's so bad, Barclay Bank and the Stock-market laid off 5 MPs!

16)
The economy is so bad, mothers in Ethiopia are telling their children, "Finish your meal! Don't you know there are starving children in the Britain?"

17)
The economy is so bad, that a prostitute asked me if she could borrow £20 until she can get back on her back.

18)
It's so bad, a stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

19)
The economy is so bad, Wayne Rooney has had to cut back on hos high class prostitutes! (He says)

20)
The economy is so bad, my sister had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

21)
The economy is so bad, that I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank!

22)
The economy is so bad, the tramps in Mayfair now have to drink tap water!

23)
The economy is so bad, Kenneth Clarke QC, is only shooting grouses for food, not for fun!

24)
It's so bad, I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

25) 
The economy is so bad, the Woolwich Ferry in London is now managed by Somali pirates!

26)
It's so bad, the biggest building programme is for JCP offices!

27)
The economy is so bad, people are standing behind Ed Miliband wherever he goes hoping for free pasties!

28)
The economy is so bad that the rare times when William and Ffion travel together, they now have to share a room!

29)
It's so bad, the Lone Ranger sold his silver bullets on Ebay.

30)
The economy is so bad that the only company hiring this week is the one that sends people to scrape bankers off the pavement outside the London stock-market!

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