You get a free bus pass.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
Things you buy now won't wear out.
You can eat dinner whenever you like.
You can live without sex but not without glasses.
You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations, through the hearing aid you get free batteries for.
You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realise it.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
You sing along with elevator music.
Your eyes won't get much worse.
Your clothes begin to come into fashion again.
You can't hear next doors dog barking all day.
Crooked politicians bother you less!