8 Digs at David 'The Nepotist' Cameron' - from the Press

Submitted by Inchcock
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

1)
Do you think David Cameron's arse gets jealous about the amount of shit that constantly comes out of his mouth?

2)
David Cameron has announced he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits - From next week the forms will only be printed in English.

3)
I hope David Cameron does turn the UK around! - I'm a bit too close to those French Gits for my liking.

4)
I've just seen David Cameron surrounded by Lithuanian's at the Embassy on the news! - I thought he was supposed to be out of the country this week.

5)
BBC News: David Cameron calls rioters and looters "sick" - Unfortunately, they took it as a compliment!

6)
The wonderful leader of our Government Right Honourable David Cameron

To discuss some ideas I had for him.

I was in his office, going through some magazines - then the rifle jammed!

6)
David cameron is putting fuel prices up once again stating:

"The price of fuel cannot be that expensive since the people of many citie are just throwing bottles of petrol away at police stations etc!"

7)
Letter to that efficient perfect nepotist David Cameron:

Dear Mr. Cameron,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic

Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

They Mustretire - Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

They Mustbuy a new British car - Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

They Must either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed

They Must send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed

They Must buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week ..... And there's your money back in duty/tax.

Instead of playing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy polluters to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or shut them down.

P.S. If more money is needed, have all Members of Parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances.

8)
Another letter to that efficient perfect nepotist David Cameron:

How to Solve the Problem of Crowded Jails in the UK

Let us put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, pyjamas and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily 'phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

And the criminals?

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.

Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week.

Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Print this

Share/Bookmark

Go to top