University's Seminar For Men (Full Course Prospectus)

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Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better.

Attendance in at least 10 of the following courses is required.

Etiquette and Behaviour:
EB101: PMS - Learn When To Keep Your Mouth Shut
EB102: We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear For Christmas (Just Give Us The Credit Cards)
EB103: How Not To Act Like An Asshole When You Are Obviously Wrong
EB104: Why It Is Unacceptable To Relieve Yourself Anywhere Except In The Bathroom
EB105: You Cannot Always Wear Whatever You Damn Well Please
EB106: How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children
EB107: Attainable Goal - Omitting Foul Expletives From Your Vocabulary
EB108: Fluffing The Blankets After Farting Is Not Necessary

General Electives:
GE101: You, The Weaker Sex
GE102: Mother-in-Laws Are People Too
GE103: The Weekend And Sports Are Not Synonymous
GE104: Male Bonding: Leave Your Friends At Home
GE105: You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson, Especially When Naked

Home Economics:
HE101: You Too Can Do Housework
HE102: How To Properly Fill An Ice Tray
HE103: Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly called "Don't Wash My Silks")
HE104: Garbage - Getting It To The Bin
HE105: Get A Life - Learn To Cook
HE106: How To Put Down A Toilet Seat (formerly called "No, It's Not A Bidet")
HE107: How To Tolerate Bras And Pantyhose Hanging In The Bathroom
HE108: How To Colour-Coordinate
HE109: Aiming Techniques During Urination
HE110: Overcoming Electronic Gadgetry Obsession

Interpersonal Relationships:
IR101: Understanding The Female Response To Coming Home Drunk At 4:00am
IR102: Reasons To Give Flowers
IR103: Give Me A Break - Why We Know Your Excuses Are Often Bullshit
IR104: Romanticism - Other Ideas Beyond Sex
IR105: Marriage - Those Who Talk And Play Together, Stay Together

Life Skills:
LS101: Combatting Stupidity
LS102: Parenting Roles Beyond Initial Conception
LS103: Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right
LS104: Understanding Your Financial Incompetence
LS105: How To Go Shopping With Your Mate Without Getting Lost
LS106: The Remote Control - Overcoming Your Dependency
LS107: Helpful Posture Hints For Couch Potatoes
LS108: You Too Can Be A Designated Driver
LS109: Changing Your Underwear - It Really Works!
LS110: You Don't Really Need That Porsche After Thinning Hair And Mid-Life Crisis
LS111: Knowing When To Stop And Ask For Directions When Lost On The Road

Sex Education:
SE101: How To Stay Awake After Sex
SE102: Fall Session: You Really Can Fall Asleep After Doing It, If You Really Try.
Spring Session: The Morning Dilemma - If It's Awake In The Morning, Take A Cold Shower
SE103: Why Women Enjoy Giving Head About As Much As Men Enjoy Taking Out The Garbage
SE104: How To Interpret A Female "No" Reply When She Really Means "NO"
SE105: How To Interpret A Female "No" Reply When She Really Means "Yes"
SE106: Variations On Sex Positions (formerly called "Women Like To Be On Top Sometimes Too")
SE107: Alternatives To Handle Cases Of Sudden Erection
SE108: Foreplay - The Slow And Easy Appetizer Preceding The Main Meal

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