A fourth selection of 12 'Bad' doctor jokes

Submitted by Inchcock
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Saturday, 3 December 2011

1)
The doctor comes in and tells his patient he has some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you don't have cancer, the bad news is that you have short-term memory loss.
Then the patient says, "But do I have Cancer?"

2)
"Doctor, Doctor, I can't stop sneezing. What can you give me?"
"A tissue?"
"Oh no, it's happening to you as well."

3)
"Doctor, Doctor, My sister thinks she's a seabird."
"She'll just have to wait her tern."

4)
"Doctor, doctor, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get a sharp pain in my nose."
"Have you tried taking the spoon out of the cup?"

5)
"Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a bridge."
"Now then, what's come over you?"
"Two cars and a Morrison's lorry up to now."

6)
"Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a pack of cards."
"Sit down and I'll deal with you later."

7)
"Doctor, Doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain."
"Why is that?"
"My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it."

8)
"Doctor, doctor, I've just swallowed the film from my camera."
"Well, let's hope nothing develops."

9)
"Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing double."
"Take a seat please."
"Which one?"

10)
The doctor comes in and tells his patient he has some good news and some bad news, the good news is that you don't have cancer, the bad news is that you have short- term memory loss.
Then the patient says, "But do I have Cancer?"

11)
"Doctor doctor, I think I'm a moth.' The doctor replies, 'Well I think you need a physiatrist not a doctor, why did you come to me?'
'Well' then man replies, 'I was walking past your surgery and your light was on.'

12)
Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs."
Doctor: "I know we had to cut off your arms."

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