First selection of 12 'Bad' Doctor Jokes

Submitted by Inchcock
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Saturday, 3 December 2011

1)
Doctor: How did you get here so quickly?
Patient: Flu.

2)
Patient: This morning I was walking across a field and was trampled by some cows.
Doctor: So I herd.

3)
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a slice of bread.
Doctor: You've need to stop loafing around.

3)
Doctor: Have you ever had this problem before?
Patient: Yes.
Doctor: Well, you've got it again!

4)
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I keep losing my temper with people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid idiot!

5)
Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing an insect spinning in front of my eyes.
Don't worry, it's just a bug that's going around!

6)
Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps calling me a liar.
I can't believe that!

7)
Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a pen.
Well sit down and write your name!

8)
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog.
How long have you felt like this?
Ever since I was a puppy!

9)
Doctor, Doctor I keep getting an urge to paint myself gold.
Don't worry it's just a gilt complex!

10)
Doctor, Doctor I feel like an apple.
Don't worry we'll soon get to the core of this!

11)
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God.
When did this start?
Well first I created the sun, then the earth...

12)
Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?
I never make rash promises.

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