There's two things I don't like about Nick Clegg; his face.
David Cameron and Nick Clegg walk into a bookshop and ask for a book on coalitions.
The storekeeper says, "It's over there on the left... sorry, I mean the right... No! I tell a lie. We sold out."
BBC news: Nick Clegg has suffered a herniated disc in an accident.
Wouldn't you need a back bone for that?
David Cameron's other half has just given birth to a baby girl.
I never even knew Nick Clegg was pregnant.
At their last Coalition do, David Cameron wanted to see how a joke would go down.
So Clegg got on his knees.
Why did Nick Clegg cross the road?
Because he told everyone he wouldn't.
Nick Clegg has said that he will do everything in his power to secure the alternative vote.
So expect to see him praying and keeping his fingers firmly crossed, and failing.
Nick Clegg has decided to change the Lib-Dem logo from a yellow bird to a Condom believing it more accurately reflects their policies.
This is because a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects the pricks, and gives you a sense of security whilst you are screwing someone over.
What's the difference between the Big Issue and the the Lib-Dem's Voice magazine?
Nobody buys the Lib-Dem's Voice magazine!
10) Top joke of the year!
Somebody phones up the Lib Dem headquarters and says: "I'd like a copy of the Lib Dem manifesto."
The guy answers, "I'm sorry but we've sold out."
The caller replies, "I know you've sold out, I just want a copy of the manifesto!"