10 smoking Funnies

Submitted by Inchcock
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Thursday, 1 December 2011

1)
Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

2)
If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.

3)
Notice displayed on a plane:
There is no smoking in the cabin on this flight.

There is also no smoking in the lavatories.

If we see smoke coming from the lavatories, we will assume you are on fire and put you out.

This is a free service we provide.

4)
Q: Why was Michael Jackson kicked out of the Boy Scouts?

A: He was up to two packs a day.

5)
Definition of a Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a poor sucker at the other!

6)
Brook Shields quote: "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

7)
Q) What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking?

A) Slow down and use a lubricant.

8)
"It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics."

9)
Nicotine patches are great.
Stick one over each eye and you can't find your cigarettes.

10)
"Smoking kills half of all lifetime smokers." - Dr. Alex Bobak of the anti-smoking group 'Scape'?

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