The Mayor is considering charging the protesters monthly rent for sleeping in the parks every night.
"After all, we have to earn back the money they are costing us protesting day and night about fraudulent financial and political practices.
"That doesn't come cheap, you know."
President: "We all need to take responsibility for the fact that we are in this financial situation. If you follow my example, and live within your means, and don't rack up tons of personal debt, then you would not be in the personal financial crisis that you are now.
"I cannot take responsibility for that. And if Congress will just give me another 4.5 billion, before I leave office, then I too can take my entitled retirement, and can continue to have no personal debt for the rest of my life.
"That is an example I think all Americans can easily relate to if they will only try."
A banker gets to heaven and finds himself homeless. Going to God, he says, "but the Bible says that I will 'build up mansions for yourself in heaven' while on earth. I don't understand, where is my mansion?"
"Oh, yeah, about that. See, you died owing way more on your mortgage than the mansion was worth, and I had to foreclose on it."
"Well, then where am I going to live?"
"With your credit? You can probably find an apartment. You should be comfortable with your neighbors, though. There are a LOT of your kind living in places like that here."