Stockbroker's Exploitation of Steve Job's Death

Submitted by alassandra2000
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Saturday, 8 October 2011

Stockbroker #1: "There must have been over twenty thousand of them! They were everywhere, filling the streets, having a great time; beating drums, talking with each other, laughing. I'm telling you, it was a complete disaster last night!"
Stockbroker #2: "Why didn't the police stop it?"
Stockbroker #1: "They tried! There were just too many of them. They were only able to arrest about two hundred the entire night! The next thing you know, they will be staging a sit in on the floor of the stock exchange! Then everyone will know that we are making up the rise in points, and then where will we be! I am telling you, we have got to do something about this, right now!"
Stockbroker #2: "I think I have an idea. I just heard that Steve Jobs died today. I am going make a call and make sure that it is all the media focuses on. That way we can keep the people distracted."
Stockbroker #1: "Who the hang is Steve Jobs?"
Stockbroker #2: "You know, the guy that invented the Apple Computer?"
Stockbroker #1: "Right, right. You think they will go for it?"
Stockbroker #2: "Trust me, I've seen it in action. Remember Mother Teresa?"
Stockbroker #1: "Vaguely."
Stockbroker #2: "Yeah, well, she just so happened to die right after Princess Di. Everybody was so caught up, they hardly even noticed. This will work, trust me."
Stockbroker #1: "Hey, maybe we'll get really lucky, and a major star will die. Wouldn't that be great?"
Stockbroker #2: "Just as long as it isn't one of the ones that is supporting the protest. Now that would be a disaster."
Stockbroker #1: "Why?"
Stockbroker #2: "Because then they would all remember that the dead celebrity was supporting the protest, then they'd want to support it, too.
Stockbroker #1: "I wonder if we could get a celebrity to pretend to die for us."
Stockbroker #2: "Hey, that's not a bad idea, actually. You know, they generally make way more money after they've been declared dead, you know."
Stockbroker #1: "I just had a really depressing thought. Nobody is ever going to be able to exploit my death."
Stockbroker #2: "It's okay, buddy. I'll exploit your death for you when it's time."
Stockbroker #1: "Really? But nobody knows who I am."
Stockbroker #2: "So what? Look at Steve Jobs, lots of people used his product; most people had no idea who he was, at least not until now. Trust me; I'll make sure it'll be the same for you."
Stockbroker #1: "I feel so much better now. I'm going to go and get some champagne and stand on the balcony now with everybody else. Those protesters don't scare me no more."

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