A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing!
Overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you!
Do cannibals get hungry one hour after eating a chinaman?
Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four food groups: the bonbon group, the salty-snack group, the caffeine group, and the "whatever-the-thing-in-the-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge-is" group!
Buffalo meat is getting more popular. I suppose soon we can expect cold cuts made from it, possibly called "buffaloney?"
The big problem with "fast" food is that it slows down when it hits your stomach. And it just parks there--and lets the fat have time to get off and apply for citizenship!
Q) What do you call someone with jelly in one ear and custard in the other? - A) A trifle deaf!
Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get!
Sophia and Hannah are discussing the best ways to make their young sons finish their meals.
Sophia says, "As an Italian mother, I put on a fierce look and say to Primo, 'if you don't finish your meal, I'm going to kill you.'
It works most of the time."
"Well, as a Jewish mother, I look my Isaac in his eyes and say, 'if you don't eat the meal I've slaved over all day, I'm going to kill myself.'
It works every time."
Sign on Cohen's Pizza shop window - "7 days without pizza makes one weak!"