A woman was rummaging through her husband's trouser pockets (as they do so often and well) when she came across a scrap of paper with "the words "Mary Jane. 2:30 Wednesday".
When her husband returned from work the woman clouted him around the ear with a rolled up newspaper, and demanded to know who "Mary Jane" was.
Her husband said: "You daft beggar, that's the name of a horse I was having a bet on!"
A week later as the husband returned from work, his wife laid him out cold with a frying pan.
When he recovered his senses, she said to him: "Your horse telephoned!"