Selection of Funny Pick-up Lines

Submitted by Inchcock
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Thursday, 15 September 2011

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way.

Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's.

You with those curves, and me with no brakes ...

Aw, girl, I'm gonna have to put you on my "To Do" List!

Save a horse -- ride a cowboy.

Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

What do you say we go back to my crib and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply

Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours

Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration. a guy sticks his location in a girl's destination, to increase the population for the next generation, did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?

I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears

My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Man - Excuse me, want to dance?
Woman - No.
Man - Maybe you didn't hear me ... I said you look really fat in those pants!

I love the way you move...like butter on a bald monkey.

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause I swear I saw you checking out my package!

You're ugly but you intrigue me.

No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?

Man - Fat Penguin !
Woman - WHAT?
Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.

I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good

Man - Do you like to dance?
Woman - Yes !
Man - Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?

Will you play army men with me.. so I can blow the hell out of you !

Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

Is it cold in here, or are you just happy to see me.

Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?

Wow! Are those real?

There must be a keg in your pants, cuz I want to tap that ass.

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.

Why do I have a pierced tongue? You'll soon find out.

Hey baby, will you be my love buffet so I can lay you on the table and take what I want?

How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?

I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.

You must work at Subway, 'cause you just gave me a footlong

You remind me of my Grandma except I haven't slept with you yet.

You stole my heart. But that's okay; I have another one at home in the fridge.

Are you free tonight or is it gonna cost me?

I wish you were a carousel at Wal-Mart so I could ride you all day long for just a quarter!!

Hey babe, do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?

Why don't you get down on your knees and smile like a doughnut?

The word of the day is legs. Let's go back to my crib and spread the word.

If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?

Can I touch your belly button...from the inside?

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