50 Insults to use

Submitted by Inchcock

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Thursday, 15 September 2011

1: Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!

2: Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

3: Are your parents siblings?

4: As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

5: Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.

6: Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.

7: Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

8: Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

9: Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?

10: Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?

11: Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

12: Don't you need a license to be that ugly?

13: Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!

14: Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.

15: Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?

16: He has a mind like a steel trap - always closed!

17: He is living proof that man can live without a brain!

18: He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.

19: He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.

20: Here's 5 pence. Call all your friends and bring back some change!

21: I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.

22: I bet your mother has a loud bark!

23: I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?

24: I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.

25: I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!

26: I don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of others?

27: I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

28: I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?

29: I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!

30: I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there.

31: I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.

32: I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.

33: I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

34: I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!

35: I'd love to go out with you, but my favourite commercial is on TV.

36: I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.

37: I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

38: I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission!

39: If ignorance was bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

40: If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder, it would be genocide!

41: If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's invulnerable.

42: If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M.

43: Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.

44: Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

45: Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.

46: So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

47: Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.

48: Sorry, but there is no vaccine against stupidity.

49: Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

50: Your so narrow minded when you walk your earrings knock together.

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