1) No Smoking! - Dorothy Kreipke-Miller
I was in our local VA hospital when a clerk began scolding a veteran who'd lit up a cigarette in a no-smoking area. "Sir!" she barked. "When did you start smoking?"
The conversation came to a halt when he replied, "In Vietnam, right after that first bomb dropped."
2) Vision Issues - Roger O'Hagan
During World War II, selective service wasn't always so selective. My nearsighted friend went before the draft board to explain just how poor his vision was. "If I lose my glasses, I won't be able to see at all," he told them.
"Don't you worry," replied the sergeant in charge. "When we attack, we'll stick you in front of the battalion. You won't miss a thing."
3) Visiting - Lynne Johnson
After visiting my son at his base, I complained to my brother-in-law: "Security there is so tight, you practically have to give up your firstborn to get in."
He replied, "You did."
4) Top 5 - William Holmes
After I spoke at a grade school assembly about veterans, a student asked, "Were you ever in a war?"
"Yes, two," I said. "World War II and Korea."
The girl's follow-up question: "Which war did you like best?"