True Funny Military Tales

Submitted by Inchcock
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Monday, 29 August 2011

1) No Smoking! - Dorothy Kreipke-Miller
I was in our local VA hospital when a clerk began scolding a veteran who'd lit up a cigarette in a no-smoking area. "Sir!" she barked. "When did you start smoking?"

The conversation came to a halt when he replied, "In Vietnam, right after that first bomb dropped."

2) Vision Issues - Roger O'Hagan
During World War II, selective service wasn't always so selective. My nearsighted friend went before the draft board to explain just how poor his vision was. "If I lose my glasses, I won't be able to see at all," he told them.

"Don't you worry," replied the sergeant in charge. "When we attack, we'll stick you in front of the battalion. You won't miss a thing."

3) Visiting - Lynne Johnson
After visiting my son at his base, I complained to my brother-in-law: "Security there is so tight, you practically have to give up your firstborn to get in."

He replied, "You did."

4) Top 5 - William Holmes
After I spoke at a grade school assembly about veterans, a student asked, "Were you ever in a war?"

"Yes, two," I said. "World War II and Korea."

The girl's follow-up question: "Which war did you like best?"

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