A man walks into a bar and is astonished to discover that the bartender is St. Peter. The man gets up his nerve and approaches the saint: "St. Peter, shouldn't you be guarding the pearly gates?"
Peter replies: "They had to be demolished to make room for the new debt ceiling."
The man is convulsed with laughter, but manages to blurt out: "So is St. Peter a Republican or Democrat?" St. Peter takes the man's right hand and looks him straight in the eye: "I have no answer to that, my son. But I can tell you that you're going straight to hell."