While hiking along the banks of Hamble River this morning at about 7 am, I saw a Muslim extremist fall into the river. He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying.
Along with him was a Jamaican who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back. I knew if they didn't get help, they'd surely drown.
Being a responsible citizen and abiding by the law to help those in distress, I informed the Police and the County Council
It is now 8 pm, both have drowned, and neither authority has responded.
I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps!