The Sun: Rooney demands severance pay!
The Sport: Crapello gets pay increase!
The News of the World: Free Paper next week!
The Times: Sell you shares now!
USA Today: WE'RE DEAD.
Wall Street Journal: Dow Jones Plummets as World Ends.
National Enquirer: O.J. and Nicole, Together Again.
Financial Times: 10 Ways You Can Profit From the Apocalypse.
Rolling Stone: The Grateful Dead Reunion Tour.
Sports Illustrated: Game Over.
Playboy: Girls of the Apocalypse.
Women's Home Journal: Lose 10 Pounds by Judgment Day with Our New "Armageddon" Diet!
TV Guide: Death and Damnation: Coronation Street Ratings Soar!
Discover Magazine: How will the extinction of all life as we know it affect the way we view the cosmos?
Microsoft Systems Journal: Netscape Loses Market Share.
Microsoft's Web Site: If you don't experience the rapture, DOWNLOAD software patch RAPT777.EXE.
BT Online News: System temporarily down. Have you pressed the rest button yet? Try calling back in 15 minutes.