A healthy married couple in their late 80's tragically dies in a car accident. They've been quite healthy, thanks to the wife's nearly neurotic interest in health food and a healthy life-style.
When they reach the Pearly Gates of Heaven, St.Peter is there to meet them, and give them a tour of what to expect for eternity. He brings them to a magnificent palace that would make Donald Trump's home look like an outhouse. It's got a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite, a pool, a jacuzzi, tennis court, bowling alley, ice rink, multi-person home theatre and an exceptional home entertainment / sound system.
"I like it," says the old man, "but how much does it cost?"
"It's free!" St.Peter replies with an assuring smile. "Remember-- this is Heaven."
Next, they go back outside to see how the grounds are right next to the greatest golf course the old man has ever seen, as well as a gorgeous, sandy beach next to an ocean, while a line-up of attractive maids and butlers await their instructions.
"This is great, but how much does this cost? Surely there are green fees?" asks the husband.
St.Peter shakes his head. "There are none. This is all free. Remember-- this is Heaven."
Next, they arrive at a lavish 5-star restaurant serving exquisite food from across the world, as a large band plays romantic dinner music.
"Wow! This is really something, but how much does it cost to eat here?" asks the husband.
"Don't you understand, sir? This is all free. Remember-- this is Heaven."
"But what about the low-fat and low-cholesterol food? What about keeping my weight and blood pressure down?" asks the old man.
"That's the best part-- you can eat as much as you want or whatever you you like and never get fat, or ill. Remember-- this is Heaven."
The old man looks down at his wife and gives her a slap in the arm. "You and your damned bran muffins and egg-white omlettes! If not for you, I could have been here 10 years ago!"