A lady doesn't drop her panties just because a man tells her she's pretty. That requires a delicate blend of empty promises and false hope. #canifuckyou
When I take conference calls, I use two headsets. One to listen to the call and the other for my music. I hope they can't hear my music.
If you schedule a meeting... Before lunch: We can't focus due to hunger. During: We're plotting your death for not catering. After: Zzzz.

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